I was walking by a store front window at quarter 'til nine in the morning and I suddenly catch a glimpse of this fat older guy. He looks like he's been up drinking all night. His attire just reeks of older creepy guy, something like a bright blue polo shirt. I'm thinking "Man, I am way cooler than that guy." Until of course, I realize it's me.


When did I get so fucking old looking. I know I have a baby face in terms of my face's unwillingness to grow manly hair barring a neck beard, but I have age lines and chins where there were no chins before. Is this adult puberty that I'm entering? Is my voice going to change? Ear hair? Already I'm older than 60 percent of the people at a given rawk concert.

I'm thinking something drastic is in order. I'm thinking nose ring... Dyed hair... cocaine problem... MTV 24 hours a day. My youth she is no more. I thought it would be when I turned twenty eight, but as it turns out it is only 25 and 3/4.

Maybe I'm overreacting. Perhaps I'm not that old looking. Just a little older. When I was a kid there were changes all time and I never questioned those. Why should I be upset about a smile line here or there. No big deal. I'll just have to start moisturizing now. Oil of Olay you've saved me! No, not likely.

I still have my hair. That's a positive. You age pretty fast with no hair. Although..... I have been noticing the front of my scalp seems higher than before. I'm going to have to inspect that.

Plastic surgery is always an option. It worked for Dick Clark.